Many parents are unsure about when to start toilet training their child.  Deciding on the right time and age is important. Most children show signs when they are ready to transition from wearing nappies to using the toilet. 

How old does my child need to be before starting toilet training?

There is no perfect age to start. Every child is an individual and will develop toileting competence in their own good time. However, it can be a good idea to wait until the child is around 2 years of age - some toddlers are ready from around 18 months and others not until closer to 2.5 years. Somewhere in this age-group, most children start to show interest and are open to learning what’s involved.

It’s not uncommon in families for younger children to be toilet trained at an earlier age than their older siblings.  This is commonly due to sibling role modelling.

Signs of Toilet Training Readiness

Every child is an individual; however, these are some of the more common signs:

·       Being able to walk and sit for short periods of time.

·       Waking up dry from their day time sleep.

·       Being able to hold on to their wee or poo for a couple of hours.

·       Recognising when they are wet or dirty or are about to be, also naming their wee or poo.

·       Having some language and comprehension skills and follow simple instructions.

·       Showing interest and curiosity in using the toilet and are also interested in watching others.

·       Can pull their pants up and down.

·       Having regular, soft, formed poos.

·       Starting to dislike wearing nappies and wanting to take them off.

Toilet Training Tips

Do what’s right for you and your child. Timing around what else is going on in the household is also a factor with toilet training.

Here are some general tips:

·       Summer is a better time to start toilet training. This is because of the practical reasons of having fewer layers of clothing to wash and dry.   

·       Buy some nappy pants, training pants and underwear for your toddler. It’s important they can undress quickly. 

·       Girls tend to be quicker to toilet train than boys and are generally younger when they start.

·       There can be a difference of a couple of years between day time and night time dryness.

·       Make a decision about what words you’ll use for what. Wee/poo is practical.  

·       Bladder and bowel training involves different nerve pathways and maturity. Toilet training for wees generally happens a few months before poo training.

·       Some children are “scared” of using the toilet to do a poo.  Reassurance and patience from parents are  important.

·       Role modelling is a good way for children to learn what’s involved. Seeing what their same gender parent does when using the toilet removes lots of uncertainty. It pays for parents not to be shy!

·       On cold or rainy days expect some toilet training regression. On days when you’re busy and distracted it’s also fair to expect more accidents.

·       Sit on the floor beside your child when they are using the toilet. Look at a book together -  relaxation helps.

·       Decide if you’d like your boy to stand or sit when doing a wee. Either is fine but try to be consistent.

·       Make sure your child’s diet is high in fibre. It’s important to avoid constipation. Children can learn to associate hard poos with pain, which can then make them scared of pooing so they hold on.

What can I do if toilet training isn’t going so well?

Sometimes it’s a case of 2 steps forwards and 1 step back with toilet training and accidents are common. It can take months for young children to recognize that they need to go and then have the muscle and nerve control to hold on until they get to the toilet.

Being patient and kind makes a big difference when young children are learning to toilet train.

It’s important to:

·       Avoid shaming and blaming when accidents happen. Most children want to please their parents and try their best.

·       Just be matter of fact if accidents happen and try again later.

·       Remember that toilet training is rarely a smooth and seamless process.  When a new baby comes along, a house move or other changes, toilet training often regresses. 

·       Praise and rewards can help to motivate behaviour but it’s wise to be careful of not going overboard.

10 more toilet training hints

1.       Take spare nappy pants and nappies wherever you go.

2.       If you’re going on a road trip or holidays, consider taking the potty with you. Make sure your child practices with the potty at home first.

3.       Develop a sense of humour about toilet training your toddler. 

4.       If your child isn’t interested, forget about it for a while and then try again when they’re a little older.

5.       Avoid comparisons. Every child is different - even within families.

6.       Gentle reminders to go to the toilet every couple of hours will be helpful, especially in the early stages.

7.       Avoid starting too young. Your child won’t understand what they need to do and frustration is more likely.

8.       A footstool will help your child reach the toilet seat. A toilet seat with a ladder could also be helpful.

9.       It’s common for young children to “hide” when they are doing a poo, though most outgrow this behaviour.   

10.   Young children find it difficult to focus on more than one thing at a time. If they’re busy they won’t be as aware of needing to go to the toilet and accidents are more likely.

Toilet or Potty – Which one’s Better?

There really is no one right option. Some parents feel it’s easier for their child to use a potty initially and then transition to using the toilet once they’re mastered the basics.  Others feel that this is an unnecessary step and prefer to start with the toilet instead.

Some parents train their child to use both the toilet and the potty. Being adaptable is great and means that if you’re out, your child can use whatever is available.

Written for Tooshies by Jane Barry, Midwife and Child Health Nurse, December 2024.